Family vacations are a special experience that you want to continue with your children, even if you’re divorcing or divorced. While you won’t be traveling with your co-parent, it’s important to have time away with your kids. Unfortunately, it may require extra planning and accommodation to avoid problems with your co-parent or children. Following a few best practices can go a long way towards smoothing your travels and ensuring you and your children enjoy the vacation.
Put It in the Parenting Agreement
Generally, parenting agreements include some provision for travel and vacation, particularly in the summer. Typically, a parent will be entitled to at least two non-consecutive weeks during the summer when the child is not in school or camp. However, parents can negotiate other terms. Additional details about when and where vacations will occur can be negotiated as they arise.
Discuss Plans
Parents should talk about travel plans well in advance to minimize disputes and inform children where they will be going. Last-minute changes should be avoided.
Share the Trip Details
The non-traveling parent should receive detailed information about the vacation, including how the kids will be traveling (flight numbers, train schedule, etc.), where they are staying (address, phone number), how long they will be away and general information on where they will be going and what they will be doing. Enough details should be provided so that the non-traveling parent can discuss the trip with the children during and after the vacation.
Facilitate Communication During the Trip
During the trip, children should speak to the non-traveling parent frequently, if not daily. It’s important for parents and children to stay in close touch even when apart to keep their relationship strong. Regular contact allows the other parent to feel involved in the children’s activities. The traveling parent should encourage communication because it is good for the children and minimizes conflicts between co-parents.
Cooperate and Compromise
Ideally, parents should resolve disputes on their own without court intervention. If parents cannot settle on their own, mediation, a mental health professional, parenting coordinator or parenting coach may help. If the court gets involved, disputes can become time-consuming, costly and damaging to children. The judge may appoint an attorney for the child and a forensic psychologist or mental health professional to evaluate the situation. It’s then in the discretion of the judge to decide the issue, rather than parents determining what’s best for their children.
If you are considering divorce or have conflicts with your co-parent that cannot be resolved amicably, contact us for a consultation to learn how we can help you achieve a positive result in your case.