Many couples have marital problems for a long while before they file for divorce. They may feel their marriage is failing but harbor doubts over whether to start the divorce process for emotional, financial or other reasons. If you’re in this situation, no one can tell you when it’s the right time to end your marriage. However, there are signs that you’re ready to get a divorce.
Constant Discord
If you and your spouse find it difficult to agree on anything and resolve disputes, it’s a good indication that your marriage is in serious trouble. Frequent disagreements that you cannot settle hurt your relationship and lead to resentment. That in turn tends to make both of you more defensive. Neither of you wants to show vulnerability in an argument, which prevents you from achieving the emotional intimacy that is needed in a healthy marriage.
Domestic Violence / Verbal Abuse
Abuse should not be tolerated in any marriage. If you or your spouse are abusive, it’s time to get legal help and file for divorce. It doesn’t matter whether the abuse is physical or verbal. Constant insults, intimidation, threats, harassment and other behavior can be just as damaging emotionally as a punch or slap.
Infidelity
Some couples find a way to get past infidelity, but it takes significant work to build back that trust assuming both parties want to save the marriage. If you or your spouse has cheated, think carefully if you’re prepared to commit to and are capable of repairing your marriage. If not, then it’s time for a divorce.
Therapy / Counseling
A mental health professional can provide invaluable guidance in helping you save your marriage or determine that you’re ready for divorce. You can see a therapist or marriage counselor alone and/or with your spouse to explore your feelings about your relationship. Do you love each other? What are the strengths and weaknesses of your marriage? How can you communicate more effectively with each other? With the assistance of a therapist or counselor, you can gain confidence and comfort that you are making the right decision regardless of what you decide to do.
Legal Advice
Divorce lawyers are not therapists and do not have the education and training to address their client’s mental health needs. Accordingly, your attorney cannot tell you whether you should get a divorce. However, it may be helpful to get answers to your questions about the division of assets, spousal support, child custody and child support before you take the final step filing for divorce. Many people have misconceptions about their rights and obligations in divorce and an attorney can provide factual information on what to expect.
Divorce is never easy. If you are considering or facing a divorce, speak to an experienced attorney about your options. Please contact our office to learn how we can help you achieve the positive results you want.
