Filing for divorce is a big step, but until you serve your spouse with divorce papers, nothing much will happen in your case. Serving the summons and complaint on your spouse isn’t a complicated legal process. However, how you do it can have consequences that affect your divorce. If your spouse may react badly to receiving divorce papers, you may want to carefully consider which method of service would be best in your situation.
How to Start a Divorce Action
To start a divorce action, you first file a summons with notice or summons with complaint for divorce in the county clerk’s office. Next, you serve what you filed with the county clerk on your spouse within 120 days. If you don’t serve your spouse within 120 days, your divorce action will be deemed abandoned.
Serving Your Spouse
You have 3 options for serving your spouse.
- Hire a process server who will hand-deliver the papers to your spouse.
- Your attorney hand-delivers the papers to your spouse’s attorney and has the attorney sign an acknowledgement of service.
- You hand deliver it to your spouse, provided that your spouse signs an acknowledgement of service stating he or she will not contest the service.
Avoiding Potential Problems
Before serving your spouse, you should inform him or her that you want a divorce and that he or she should expect to be served. You should do so calmly, without threats or accusations. You don’t want to surprise your spouse with divorce papers, especially if you think he or she will be upset. Avoiding the conversation with your spouse will only make things worse.
If you feel your spouse will be difficult, you may want to temporarily delay serving him or her with papers. You can first state that you want the divorce, but give your spouse some time to adjust before serving the papers. You have 120 days from filing your divorce action to serve, so that gives you a cushion. However, you shouldn’t delay too long since your spouse may continue to be antagonistic no matter when you do it, and you want to move your life forward.
Depending on the reaction you anticipate, you can decide whether to use a process server or do it yourself. A process server may inadvertently deliver the summons and complaint in front of other people or during a situation that might be embarrassing to your spouse. Your spouse may also be offended that you didn’t do it personally.
You can serve the papers, but only if your spouse is willing to sign the acknowledgement of service. Otherwise, a spouse isn’t allowed to serve the other spouse in a divorce. If you don’t think your spouse will sign an acknowledgment, your attorney can deliver it to your spouse’s attorney, if he or she has one. If you are serving your spouse directly, be mindful of when and where you do it. The goal is to reduce acrimony, which could make your divorce more time-consuming and costly.
If you are considering a divorce, talk with us about your concerns regarding your spouse’s reaction. We have extensive experience helping clients navigate these situations. Contact us for a consultation.
