It is no surprise that children are impacted by divorce. The effects of divorce on children are well documented in studies that have examined the behavior and well-being of children before and after a divorce. An increase in behavioral problems and family difficulties as well as reduced achievement levels, has been demonstrated in both boys and girls post-divorce. However, research has also shown that parents have a great deal of control over this and can take action to help their children better adjust and cope with the changes in their lives. If you’re concerned about your children, the key to helping them is for you and your spouse to remain focused on what is best for your children throughout the divorce process and work with lawyers and other professionals who will support and encourage those efforts.
What Do Studies Say About How My Children May Be Affected by Divorce?
As early as 1979, researchers realized that the existence of certain influential factors could reduce the negative impact of a divorce on a child. They noted:
For divorced and intact groups combined, the relationships among family members appeared to be more potent influences on child behavior than was marital status. The negative effects of divorce were greatly mitigated when positive relationships with both parents were maintained. The child’s relationship with the non‐custodial parent (father) was as important as the continuing relationship with the mother.
What Should I Look for in Hiring a Divorce Attorney?
Divorcing parents have an additional concern because of how their actions can affect their children. In hiring a lawyer, it is important to work with someone who understands this and keeps your children in mind when providing legal advice and facilitating discussions with your spouse and his or her attorney.
At Jewell Law, we are keenly aware of the research and the impact of what we do on our client’s children. To that end, we seek to educate our clients on these studies and provide them with resources to help minimize the negative effects of divorce on themselves and their children. We work hard with the other parent’s attorney to discuss, reveal and address those impacts, with the desire to support the relationship of the children with both parents through the divorce process and afterwards. In addition, we utilize current psychological and medical concepts and research to help our clients understand how their children are experiencing the divorce and their parent’s behaviors during the process.
How Do I Address Conflicts with My Spouse Over Our Children?
Depending on the nature of the conflict, it’s often best to try to settle the matter with your spouse without involving the court. Typically, when parents cannot agree, the judge will first appoint an attorney for the child, and if needed, a forensic psychologist or mental health professional. These professionals provide information to the judge that may be used in decision-making. More importantly for parents, this process requires directly involving your children in your divorce and dragging out your case, sometimes for years.
We encourage negotiation if possible. For example, if your spouse is actively restricting or acting in ways to limit your relationship with your child, we try to educate all parties and opposing counsel on the current research to motivate them to settle. If that fails, we seek the court’s intervention to engage experts who can help identify and minimize the impact of these behaviors.
Of course, settlement is not always possible or achievable. When a parent engages in behavior and actions that seriously injure the children, that must be addressed in court and by all involved in the divorce. So, if your spouse has neglected, abused or exposed your children to dangerous and injurious behaviors, we actively and aggressively advocate on your behalf as the preferable parent. And, if you are engaged in such a manner, we offer a frank and supportive atmosphere to help you address these problems with the goal being to preserve or reinstate your relationship with your children.
We know that children fare much better if both parents are actively involved with and remain close to their children, not only from the studies, but from our experiences as divorce lawyers and mediators.
How Do I Get Started with My Divorce?
If you are considering a divorce and worry about the impact on your children, contact us. We will offer a free consultation and share our experiences and the relevant studies to educate you on how to reduce the impact of the divorce on your children, as we strongly believe that they deserve to be protected to the greatest extent possible.
