Although our culture tends to view divorce as a fight to the finish, an amicable or uncontested divorce is possible. Divorce is often adversarial because the parties let their past grievances and present emotions control the divorce process. However, if you can maintain a future focus, you can have an uncontested divorce that is less damaging to you, your spouse, your children, and your financial future.
This is not as hard as you may think. You know your spouse better than just about anyone and understand his or her communication style and behavior. It is likely you both can anticipate what issues you will be able to agree upon and what issues will be more problematic. Your knowledge of each other can help you in negotiating and engaging effectively so you can achieve a settlement that works for both of you.
Mediation can help facilitate agreement because it is a future focused process. Great mediators understand the emotional impacts of divorce on their clients and listen to and acknowledge those emotions. However, the goal of mediation is to help the parties focus on the future of their relationship, both emotionally and financially. Specifically, a mediator is trained to engage the parties in a process that provides for open and full communication, is respectful and goal-oriented, and takes into consideration all factors that will be affected by the divorce.
Getting a divorce in court can be like getting divorced in a bubble if the parties do not use the court as a tool to get the case settled. Uncontrolled litigation is defined by the laws of the land and personalities of the attorneys and judge and can often encourage conflict and assign winners and losers. Mediation lets the parties be in control of the process and the result, if the parties are willing to control their emotions and look to objectively solve the issues that need to be resolved. Indeed, a healthy mediation is defined by the laws and personalities of the marriage and couple or family enabling them to all be winners.
An amicable divorce is possible. With the help of a mediator, couples can find common ground and save themselves from an expensive protracted divorce that takes years to resolve. Divorce can be a positive step for couples who see going their separate ways as a better direction for their lives. If you are looking for an efficient resolution of your divorce so you can move forward in your life, contact us for a consultation.
